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in east of eden, steinbeck describes the moment at which parents fall from super-hero to sub-prime human in their children’s eyes. i hope you remember the allusion because east of eden is an excellent book, and this section was particularly memorable for me. the fall is something along the lines of devastating, perhaps shattering the integrity of many a child’s outlook on life (if such an outlook may be said to exist?). in any case, this is the dramatic literary equivalent to the more mundane and pedestrian experiences that i am to recount shortly.
i’ve never experienced the same apocalyptic fall (either the one falling or the one viewing said fall), but it would only make sense that one’s perceptions of others would change. similarly, one’s relationships with others change over time, including the relative importance of these relationships. in discussing this with friends, it seems that most people find it strange or even wrong to rank their friends. it seems natural for me to rank them (though ties are allowed now and then!). after all, human minds are designed to categorize and classify chaos — why not try to organize the morass of human relationships?
life on the friendship leaderboard is more or less constant in the non-childhood years, although there are a few ups and downs. being near the top on the leaderboard is always nice, and you can tell through a variety of moments that come in different forms. perhaps words spoken in confidence, asking for and doing random favors without thinking twice of whether it’d be “polite”, thoughtful actions, etc etc etc.
there are downs too, though. sometimes they just gradually and maybe unintentionally happen, like friends who are bad at keeping in touch with each other. or sometimes a dramatic fight occurs, and sworn enemies emerge from the battleground. sometimes it’s not so much that you went down, but rather someone else went up. or sometimes it’s more like that someone else is kind of tied with you (yes, ties are allowed! :) ). actually, i think that in my case it is normally the growing existence of an other. and the other has never been an archnemesis but a welcome addition to the circle of people in my life that i actually care about. for example, i adore my niece+nephew, and it is only right+sensible that i no longer singlehandedly hold the role of the baby in the family. i wish i could say i have completely given them this role, but somehow we are in a tie, and everyone still mixes up my name with andrea’s. =.=
or, going back further, i was even confused when andrew sprung up into existence. where did he come from? :) and my brother’s lady friend, whose cooking tendencies caused him to say no when i asked to borrow the measuring spoons that he and i had bought together and that he had never actually used by himself (though there was some amount of miscommunication)? and who is this very asian (very. asian. no joke.) guy that i seem to be seeing a lot of on my visit to dc?
i’m not writing this because i’m seeking retribution. i guess i’m writing this because my plane is delayed 2 hours, i have no wifi, i have been forced into contemplation, and this is the path where my thoughts have led me. :) and remember, ties are allowed! it’s like in soccer, except everyone wins! lol
Adapted theme by nostrich.
